Take a jaw bone and the teeth from said jaw bone.
Apply some super glue to keep the teeth in place now that the jaw's former owner no longer has the gums to do that.
Take dental floss and string between matching teeth on opposite sides. Remember to tie each line in place.
Now you have a creepy string instrument that vaguely resembles a harp and sounds TERRIBLE.
If I were a dentist I would make one of these. Whenever I had kids in the office I could start strumming it and say "Remember to floss or I'll do it for you...after you die!"
I don't think I'd get much repeat business.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Shoppers drug mart
I suspect that shoppers drug mart must keep some pretty good drugs in the store somewhere.
I was standing in line and of course it was moving with agonising slowness. The old woman being served somehow managed to stretch out a purchase of ginger ale to a truly heroic degree. There was one girl working the check outs. She was not the only staffer in sight. There were of course four of them. One stood behind the cashier presumably waiting until the customers rose up in revolt. Another stood around making a flaccid attempt at shelf stocking. The fourth seemed to be doing nothing and standing around in the mobile phone section.
His job was to sell mobile phones. Heaven forbid he be diverted from his task. At least he was willing to be funny about it.
"Come on people in line. I have mobile phones AND optimum points. Who are you to resist it?"
My fellow shoppers stood unamused by his quirky sales pitch. A few moments later he continued undeterred.
"That's right! Your two favourite things in the world, mobile phones and optimum points, together at last. What more could you want? All you have to do is come and see me. Wouldn't you like some optimum points? I have them. I have them all!"
Still the crowd is unmoved.
"No? Nobody feeling it?"
I start chuckling under my breath and smile at him as I make eye contact. He needs to know someone appreciates his attempt to bring some quirky humour to a drab corner of the world. Finally the old woman is done with her soft drink and its my turn. As I pay and leave he starts up his bizarre sales pitch again.
"Yes that's right. Judge me, people in the line. That's the crazy guy selling phones and optimum points. But only I have them. I have what you need to be happy."
"Optimum points," he croons.
I want some of whatever he snuck out of the back and snorted. I'm sure it would make my stories more interesting.
I was standing in line and of course it was moving with agonising slowness. The old woman being served somehow managed to stretch out a purchase of ginger ale to a truly heroic degree. There was one girl working the check outs. She was not the only staffer in sight. There were of course four of them. One stood behind the cashier presumably waiting until the customers rose up in revolt. Another stood around making a flaccid attempt at shelf stocking. The fourth seemed to be doing nothing and standing around in the mobile phone section.
His job was to sell mobile phones. Heaven forbid he be diverted from his task. At least he was willing to be funny about it.
"Come on people in line. I have mobile phones AND optimum points. Who are you to resist it?"
My fellow shoppers stood unamused by his quirky sales pitch. A few moments later he continued undeterred.
"That's right! Your two favourite things in the world, mobile phones and optimum points, together at last. What more could you want? All you have to do is come and see me. Wouldn't you like some optimum points? I have them. I have them all!"
Still the crowd is unmoved.
"No? Nobody feeling it?"
I start chuckling under my breath and smile at him as I make eye contact. He needs to know someone appreciates his attempt to bring some quirky humour to a drab corner of the world. Finally the old woman is done with her soft drink and its my turn. As I pay and leave he starts up his bizarre sales pitch again.
"Yes that's right. Judge me, people in the line. That's the crazy guy selling phones and optimum points. But only I have them. I have what you need to be happy."
"Optimum points," he croons.
I want some of whatever he snuck out of the back and snorted. I'm sure it would make my stories more interesting.
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